Lifestyle Voyeur ~ Found Notes and Lists

I am a lifestyle voyeur. Every time that I see a note or a list casually discarded by someone, I pick it up and read it. The insights on the minutiae of their life is interesting.

I found this list for a lunch order. It starts with a shaved pork pita with no tomato. Then a grilled pork pita. I have no idea what the (AD) stands for, but presumably it means that the sandwich was made after the birth of Christ (AD). The small potatoe presumably is a salad with the Dan Quayle spelling of potatoe with an "e" at the end. The "CASH" is the most important part.

I hope that this person enjoyed their lunch. The look and feel of the note suggests that a female wrote it.

The Perfect Web Page

Software Stream of Consciousness: The Ultimate Web Page Design ~ The Perfect Web Page...: I have seen the future of web design and it is pictured above. It is the ultimate in user experience and usability. It is perfect. It is ... (read more)

Sign In Alaska

This sign was posted in Alaska where they understand king salmon and seals. The good thing is that islamic terrorists don't.

Logo Design Gone Bad

Are you trying to design a logo for your business or organization. Here are some common mistakes to avoid:

The Nazi symbols like stylized swastikas do not generally work well. Some people are ultra-sensitive to them, and the skinhead market segment is small and doesn't have a lot of money.

While subliminal dirty pictures are quite enjoyable to those who enjoy the embarrassment of others and things like fart jokes, these logos won't get printed even if you sponsor events like a run for cancer or the White House Dinner.

Kids aren't treated as resilient commodities like they were in the 1950's and 1960's, so its best not to traumatize Momma's lil darlings.

Again, these genitalia and sperm logos appeal to a certain sector of the demographic, but generally the mirth that they provide doesn't translate into respect.

WalMart Under A Different Name

I was in Dumbarton Scotland recently and I needed some shaving cream. Being unfamiliar with the city, we drove around until we came across a strip of stores and a large store called ASDA jumped out at us. We went in and I bought "ASDA Sweet Price Shaving Foam". It was a rather large size.

The next morning, after shaving and dressing, my significant other asked me if I was going for the Andrea Bocelli look because my whiskers were showing. I went up to look in the mirror, and sure enough, it was the worst shaving job that I have ever encountered. I dry-shaved the stubble. The shaving cream was crap. It is thinnish, very foamy with no viscosity or substance. Put simply, it does not do the job.

I mentioned this to someone, and they informed me that ASDA is in fact, WalMart under another name in the UK, and they sell cheap Chinese crap. That explained a lot. Later on in the week, while driving from Glasgow to Edinburgh on the M8, I saw an ASDA supply lorry, and sure enough, it had "part of the WalMart family" painted on the back.

So when it comes to shaving foam, I am still going with Gillette as the best ever. And as for this stuff, they can shove it up their ASDA.

The Wooden Car Made of Red Cedar

This came today by email: The wooden car made of red cedar:

Beautiful Custom-Built 2009 Wooden Car

This custom wooden car rides on a 1986 Toyota truck frame and gets power from a Chrysler 318 engine. It is driven by an automatic transmission and has merely 1,800 miles on its speedometer. The whole body is made of cedar and its interior is just as over-the-top as the exterior.

Finally an automotive use for red cedar.
Probably never have to worry about moths eating the upholstery.

Are You Looking for the Next Big Country Hit Song?

Are you a country singer looking for a cover for the next big country hit? I am not usually a country fan, but I am a fan of the Amazing Rhythm Aces (mainly on the basis of their song Dancing the Night Away which Leo Sayer did). When I heard this song called "The Rock", for the life of me, I couldn't figure out why it didn't become a huge hit. It was written by Russell Smith and Jim Varsos. The arrangement is spectacular, and the song has the potential to become a cross-over hit ballad.

Can't understand why this song didn't chart. I'm sure that it will with a new release.

"Understanding Women" Is Now Out In Paperback

Men the world, I have an important announcement.  The best seller book called "Understanding Women" is now out on paperback.  This is a handy version that all men must have.  Get yours today.

Lamborghini SUV ~ Pure Prostitution

Ever since the Lamborghini Countach came out, I have been a fan of this Italian automaker. The car had pizzazz. The Bertone design screamed performance. Even the name Countach was a Piedmontese swear word to describe the anatomy (or certain bits thereof) of an extremely beautiful voluptuous woman. Everything about Lamborghini was about style and performance.

And now, Lamborghini says that they are coming out with an SUV (pictured above). That's like saying that a horse breeder who breeds horses to run for the Triple Crown will now be giving pony rides at the state fair. That's like saying that the New York Yankees will now play T-Ball. That's like saying that Walmart will turn into a dollar store and sell cheap Chinese crap -- okay that's the exception that proves the rule, but you get what I mean.

When someone buys an SUV, they don't want a vehicle that can go 60 miles an hour down a logging road. They don't want to climb an untracked hill at 40 miles per hour. They don't want to go from zero to sixty in 5 seconds while driving to backpack in the Adirondacks or Yellowstone Park.

This is pure prostitution on Lamborghini's part. It is like finding out that your beloved wife is selling her body downtown. This is a blunder for Lamborghini. Someday they will wake up, like a drunk after a frosh party and say "I did WHAT ???".

This is a sad day for Lamborghini fans.

Airline Review KLM Royal Dutch Airlines

It took a further half hour from this point to be checked in at the Glasgow Airport at KLM because the printer was broken and boarding passes were written by hand.
Several years ago, it was a rare pleasure to fly KLM, the Royal Dutch Airline. They were the epitome of Dutch efficiency, pleasantness, and luxury. I have to say that they have fallen a long way. The KLM experience is worse or at best, on par with an economy charter flight.

I started in Glasgow. It is a smallish airport compared to other centers. I arrived two hours and ten minutes early to fly to Schipol Airport in Amsterdam, and then continue on to North America. When I arrived at the KLM check-in, there was perhaps twenty people ahead of me in line. That line took an hour to process. The printer to print the boarding passes was broken and they agents were writing the boarding passes by hand. The agent informed me that this was the second flight that they had processed this way. Unbelievable in this day and age.

The trans-Atlantic flight was a nightmare. The seats were like cattle cars with virtually no space between them. I couldn't even fully open my laptop computer to work. The screen had to stay at a 45 degree angle. The seat in front of me was broken, and my seat would not return to its original upright position. I had to manually drag it up by hand.

The food was a miniature wrap with two bits of chicken and no choice for the vegetarian one. They threw a box of food at you. The snack was a bag of smoked almonds that had 6 almonds in it. The flight attendants looked like they were stressed.

All in all, the experience was unpleasant, and for my next trans-Atlantic trip, KLM airlines will not be my carrier of choice. It really is too bad that they have degenerated this far.

There, I Fixed It

This series of photos depicts redneck ways of fixing things. They came to me via email, from a website of presumably the same name: There, I Fixed it.

Some of these fixes, although slapdash, are quite ingenious (but maybe a little dangerous). Enjoy.

Nice spare tire.

A barbeque on wheels.

Can't miss gears with this.

I wonder if the rest of the bathroom matches?

Perfect for those who live in glass houses.

You can sit while you shave.

Adds years of life to the fridge.

Makes dusting easier as well.

Now this is really ingenious!!!!!!!!

Hmmm. India and Nassau comes to mind.

I would have never of thought of this.


I always liked those big carriers on the front of a bike.

The pleasures of a hot shower.

Keep on trucking

This is clever too!

Adds a little bit of zip to the swimming experience.

A Texan Oil Man Wearing A Dress

Do Texas oilmen wear dresses? Do any Texan men wear dresses? Does a real man wear a dress. Here's a picture of a combination that you don't see often -- a Stetson hat and a kilt. That could be the name of my next movie -- Cowboys in Kilts.

An Exciting Taste and Food Blog -- For Foodies Only

If you are a foodie, you owe it to yourself to visit this blog:

The blog is about the tastiest morsels ever from foods from around the world. You will find unconventional food and beverages that make you tastebuds explode in a flavors blowout.

See for yourself.

Distinctive Scottish Place Names II

Following on yesterday's post where I mentioned that a successful business man always named his businesses after distinctive British or Scottish names, I have more of a list of neat names that I have collected while traveling through Scotland. These would be quite useful to name your house, boat, product, website, property, or for whenever you need a list of name possibilities. Here are some more:

  • Kilcreggan
  • Rockcliffe
  • Priorwood
  • Arran
  • Sandgate
  • Alloway
  • Killbride
  • Holmwood
  • Blantyre
  • Linlithgow
  • Inveresk
  • Culross
  • Bannockburn
  • Branklyn
  • Dunkeld
  • Kirriemuir
  • Banchory
  • Fyvie
  • Glenfinnian
  • Kintail
  • Balmacara
  • Torridon
  • Skye
  • Tobermory
  • Auld Kirk
  • Maybole
  • Fife
  • Dundee
  • Lomond
  • Inverness
There is magic to some of these names.

Distinctive Scottish Place Names

I once read a book by a successful entrepreneur who tested human reaction to almost everything in the marketplace. His measurement metric was money. He would create product ads, and then place them in various advertising media, and see which ones performed the best. One of the tests that he did, was determining the name of the business selling the product, that consumers found most trusting. Strangely enough, company names with distinctive Scottish or British names invoked the most trust. He posited that one should name your business with a distinctive, trustworthy name.

I am currently in Scotland, and here is a partial list of distinctive Scottish place names.

  • Knockderry
  • Mansefield
  • Caprington
  • Kilmarnock
  • Speyside
  • Crossburn
  • Kilbride
  • Bearsden
  • Willowbank
  • Paisley
  • Glenarn
  • Leadhills
  • Dalmuir
  • Clydebank
  • Loch Awe
  • Glenstrae
  • Argyll
  • Blythswood
  • Inveraray
  • Stirling
  • Killearn
  • Falkirk
  • Crieff

Enjoy. I will be posting more as time permits.

The Secret Ingredient to Make Chips Like Your Mum

Potatoes ~ some like them boiled. Some like them roasted. Some like them distilled in vodka. Some like them made into chips. I was passing a butcher shop in Helensburg Scotland, and saw this sign on the window. It tells you the secret ingredient to making chips like your Mum. Who would have thought that it was beef drippings. It probably tastes super delicious, but the I can feel the sludge in the arteries now.

Funny Business Names in Britain

The United Kingdom is know for its funny business names. Here are a few weird, funny ones:
  • Joshua P. Lilywhite, Coal Dealer,
  • Ashwipe Chimney Cleaners,
  • William the Concreter,
  • Stubbs Prosthetics and Orthotics,
  • Dick's Halfway Inn,
  • Bunghole Liquors,
  • Master Bait and Tackle
I photographed the one above in Hellensburg Scotland. Slater Hogg and Howison are real estate agents.

Dutch Vending Machine

(click for larger image)

I was in the Schipol Airport in Amsterdam, and I saw this vending machine for snacks. I wondered what you would find in a Dutch vending machine. Among the chocolate bars and such, you get a selection of cakes and cookies. Neat.

More on the Sony eReader

Wishing that I had bought a Kindle. The WiFi is tempermental -- it connects to the free Wifi at airports, but it won't process the acceptance page where you agree to the airport terms (at least it didn't in the Schipol Airport of Amsterdam). And upon reviewing books, the same titles are cheaper for the Kindle versus the Sony Store.

I bought this for the significant other, and she is frustrated with it. Many connectivity issues. She couldn't read her email from Google's Gmail either. She can see the listings, but couldn't open individual mail. Will check it again, but so far the user experience is unsatisfying.

Sony eReader Product Review

Software Stream of Consciousness: Sony eReader Product Review: This isn't about software -- well in a sense it is. It is a product review about the Sony eReader. We are taking a long plane ride and my ...(read more)

Madonna without the makeup and airbrushing

53 year old singer Madonna sure looks different without make-up and without airbrushing. Take a look at the before and after photographs.